woman laying on bed, a string of lights rapped around her, leave the light on during sex

Do you leave the light on during sex? FYI – in this video, I will be referring to MEN and WOMEN, although I know that many people choose same sex relationships, or even open relationships, for the sake of the conversation, I will be using the male/female relationship as the example. Please know if you are LGBTQ that I am not leaving you out!! Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash.

Enjoy this video post from love coach Heather Hundhausen who helps  guide powerful women, world changing women, who are struggling between SURRENDER and ‘Being in Control’ to create their OWN LIGHT which of course, influences the world around them as part of her TUESDAY TANTRA ME TIME video series.

How Many People Leave the Light On During Sex?

Can you imagine having your LIGHT ON in the BEDROOM!? A survey of 2000 people done by truTV says 75% of people have sex with the lights OFF… For various reasons… like, I don’t want my partner to see my sex face, or they wanted to fantasize about someone else, or just to save electricity!!

75% of people have sex with the lights off. #trutv Click To Tweet

But really, let’s get RAW here. Why do we turn the lights off?

Probably our Shame, Culture. I am guessing, it is ‘shame’ in our culture. There is a lot of shame in our culture about sex and being SEEN.


Top Five Reasons Why You Want to Leave the Light On During Sex

Here’s what I’m going to share: We are going to talk about you KEEPING YOUR LIGHT ON by KEEPING THE LIGHT ON during lovemaking. I’ll tell you the Top 5 Reasons why you want to leave the lights on during sex and why it’s good for you.

Why are we even having sex in the first place?

  • Pleasure?
  • Intimacy?
  • Connection?
  • To make him happy?

Why do we turn the lights off?

  • Shame
  • Insecurity
  • Fantasy
  • Avoidance


Reason #1: Men are Visual

Men are Visual – and you can watch him want you. Men are visual creatures. They love watching you. Think about if you’re with someone who is visual, the difference between leaving the light on and turning it off. Let me tell ya, there is nothing sexier that watching your man watch you.

Men are visual. Watch him want you. Click To Tweet

Leave the lights on. Let him look at you. Let him look at your body. Watch how incredibly arousing it is for him and satisfying the need in him, its sexy and fun to connect to!


Reason #2: You can SEE Each Other


You can SEE each other – you don’t need to make love to do this. But you do need the lights on. Connecting intimately, looking into someone’s eyes and looking through them on a soul level. Can you actually SEE your partner? Can you SEE their Light? When you are making love, seeing each other is love making at its rawest.

Have you ever SEEN your partner and allowed yourself to be SEEN?

Reason #3: All Starts with LOVING YOU

Owning our bodies is self love, allowing another to see it is vulnerable.

It starts with you LOVING YOU. You allowing YOU to see YOU. (I remember the first time I looked in the mirror and thought, god, you are beautiful). This is what it means to have YOUR LIGHT ON.

Sex starts with loving yourself first. Click To Tweet

Reason #4: Vulnerability is Sexy

Vulnerability is beautiful – showing your partner your flaws and insecurities is LOVE.

When we allow others to see our flaws, we allow ourselves to be truly SEEN. (When we TRUST our man, we allow ourselves to be OPEN (next week’s topic). When we are open, we allow him to see ALL of us. He actually really loves to see your weakness, because he can experience himself as strong, protecting, and loving. He wants to make you happy. He can’t do that when you have a hard outer shell.

Reason #5: You can CONNECT to Each Other

You can CONNECT to each other – when we are SEEN, we connect.

There is nothing more beautiful than allowing your man to be INSIDE of you while you are truly connecting to each other. The female body was designed to be ENTERED. The male body was designed to ENTER INTO.

The woman has to want to open, and the man has to want to enter. Click To Tweet

Creating safety creates the space for both partners to want to step into each other. When it’s safe, it’s so beautiful. All the walls disappear, and there is no fear of being seen. Your body, your heart, your soul. When you trust your man, you give it all to him.

With equal importance, are you ready to learn how too can leave your light on during sex AND feel good about it, please CLICK HERE to connect with Love and Relationship Coach Heather Hundhausen for a free breakthrough session.

Other video posts in this Tantra Tuesday Me Time series:

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