Are you feeling your feelings? Are you anxious? Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel like you just can’t get your shit together? You’re probably not feeling your feelings.
Learning how to feel your feelings goes against what we are taught in our culture. Psychologists have boiled down feelings into a couple of major categories, and they argue about which ones are the BASIC emotions.
How You Can Learn Feeling Your Feelings
For me, basic human emotions boil down to ANGER, SADNESS, FEAR, SHAME AND JOY
We don’t have time to go into how EACH emotion has a purpose and directs you, I do that in my coaching program.
- FIRST, I want to show you WHY you SHUT off your feelings in the first place, and how I know.
- THEN, I want to talk about WHY feeling your feelings is so important, to convince you to start feeling again.
- WHY you SHUT them down: As a woman, how ladylike is it to feel ANGER? To really LET SOMEONE HAVE IT? Many of us had our wits scared out of us by an angry parent, who may have been destructive – physically or with words.
- SADness is usually a COVER for women. (MEN usually cover with ANGER – because boys don’t cry). But think about it, how often do you use TEARS to communicate something that is really important to you? Especially to a man?
SHAME is the trickiest emotion of them all.
Brene Brown says when you start talking about Shame, people either say
1) What is that OR 2) I’m not talking about that.
Shame is debilitating.
And since it literally HURTS us to admit when we are wrong, or not good enough, or not smart enough, we avoid it. If you’re REALLY funny, you’re probably operating over a LOT of shame. Its’ the easiest way to deal with not feeling. Humor dissipates pain like a drug.
FEAR has been squashed with phrases like “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken” and “only the strong survive” and “Just do it.”
The CULTURE of SHUT DOWN feelings = environmental damage, divorces, entitlement, lack of empathy and compassion, animal and human cruelty
WHY ITS IMPORTANT TO FEEL
When you stop feeling you lose your ability to make confident DECISIONS.
- You lose your INTUITION
- You lose your ability to EMPATHIZE
- When you DON’T FEEL:
- You start STUFFING your feelings, with TV, food, distractions, FB
- You wreak havoc on the feelings of those around you.
- You feel incredibly ANXIOUS
That ANXIETY and OVERWHELM you feel is from NOT FEELING your feelings.
You are unable to differentiate your feelings, so you don’t know what to listen to. You don’t trust yourself, and therefore, don’t trust others.
You make BAD decisions.
You keep picking BAD relationships or CAREER moves because you don’t know what actually makes you sad, happy, angry or ashamed. Instead, you avoid all of it and feel ANXIOUS. Then you STUFF them to avoid them. And hurt others and yourself.
If you’re ready to STOP hurting yourself and other, and ready to DISCOVER your FEELINGS so you can make DECISIONS you are proud of, follow your INTUITION and feel confident, it’s time to work with me.
Loving yourself will never happen from reading this information.
You must put it into practice. Start now by declaring what you will do TODAY to love yourself.
What are your self-love goals TODAY?
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